Like Father Like Son

The photos say it all!!! LOL =)

Pictures I forgot to post a couple blogs back

Aaron's dad Carl and his Uncle Larry were in town from California to visit and meet Josiah. I had posted a picture of JoJo with his Papa Carl but now I have a couple more to show. We can't wait until we can make our way down to Cali so that JoJo and I can meet the rest of the family. Here are some pics...

Here is JoJo with cousin Sonny =)

Family Photo (well part of the family) Aaron's dad, Carl, Aaron, Uncle Larry (wheelchair) and JoJo

JoJo and Papa Carl

Papa Carl and JoJo playin Dominos and Uncle Larry

Fell A Bit Behind

Did I mention in a previous post that I am bad at jumpin on here and updating? LOL.. guess this proves it since it's been over a week since I posted something. What can I say? Life is busy when you have a little man around. I went back to work last week on the 18th of February and it was very hard to do. I thought I was going to be able to handle leaving Josiah because he would be with my mom. Boy was I wrong. She had watched him for a few hours while I was on maternity leave and that's why I figured I'd be ok. Turns out, there is a BIG difference between leaving but knowing there is the ability to say "ok I miss him, I'm going to go pick him up now" and leaving him knowing that I couldn't just go get him when I missed him. Reality set it when I was getting ready to leave that day and when I picked him up to hug him and say goodbye, I lost it. I cried all the way to work that day lol. I tried to compose myself before walking in and it seemed to have work, until right as I got to my desk, someone asked "oh hows the baby" and I broke down in tears again lol. It's funny how emotions just take over, even when you think you're alright. Well i've been back to work for over a week now and that first day was my only emotional day. I do miss him all day long while I'm away from him but I know he's in good hands. Aaron hasn't been getting scheduled a whole lot at work so between him and my mom, I know Josiah will be taken care of while I'm gone for the day, no matter which one he's with. Aaron is a wonderfal daddy.

I dont think I could have gotten any luckier when it comes to Aaron. Not only is he an awesome daddy, he's a great friend, lover and support system. Before he came along, I really started doubting I would ever find anyone who I could possibly spend the rest of my life with. But one trip to Blockbuster changed all that =) I could see myself being with him forever and one day we will make that final. We're just not in a rush because it's just a piece of paper really, we dont need that to know that we love each other and our little family. Here's a picture I snapped of us and I'll be back later to update some more =)

Josiah's first Smile =)

So, I'm not so good at this blogging thing cause I dont come on everyday and update. But this I couldn't pass up.. Josiah smiled for the first time today. He has grinned several times but those were all caused by gas in his tummy. It is amazing to watch how much he changes from day to day. I'm going to miss all this when I go back to work next week so I gotta treasure it now. He is really learning how to communicate. He now lets us know when he just wants to be held and knows he doesn't like to have poopy on his butt lol. This little boy is the most amazing little thing that has ever come into my life and I feel blessed to have him and his daddy in my life =) (oh and if you can see in the picture, i went BLONDE!!! LOL)

Meeting Papa Carl

JoJo got to meet his Papa Carl for the first time this past Friday (Aarons dad) He is up from California right now to see the baby and hang out for the next week or so. It was very cool to see how he reacted to the baby. He was so overjoyed and just kept saying "it's been so long since I held a little baby, probably since Aaron was a baby" He just stares at JoJo and you can see in his eyes that he is proud. It's funny cause Aaron looks exactly like his dad and everyone in Aaron's family who has seen the baby so far says he's a little Aaron, so at least I know what he'll look like when he gets older, and he'll be pretty handsome LOL. Below is a picture of JoJo meeting his Papa.. then I threw in a few other pictures that we took. In a couple weeks I'll post the professional portraits we had done.. Enjoy =)

Release of Feelings

So this post strays away from my little family a little but it's helping me to get past something. Everyone who reads this blog most likely knows that I have a part of family who I have never really been associated with because they deny me. Well, now that I am 25 years old, and have a family of my own, I decided to give myself closure. To do this, I am sending that family, who consists of my biological father and his parents, a birth announcement of mine and Aaron's son, and a letter to explain how i feel about them. I am going to post what i put in that letter on here and this is my way of letting it all out so i can move on. I realized a long time ago that I didn't need them in my life and I still don't because I have plenty of family and friends, so it's time to let go completely. Here is the letter that it being sent with the announcement:

Dear Don and Jean,

Upon receiving this announcement, you will probably think that I sent it in hopes that I would get something in return. The truth is, there is nothing in this world that I want or need from you. I have everything I need and the sole purpose of this letter is to let you know that you have a Great Grandson and to ask you to let Michael know that he has a Grandson. It’s also to get a few things off my mind so I can give myself closure and move forward.

I spent too many years wondering why your family stopped wanting anything to do with me, so this will be the last attempt I make at contacting you. The only person who has been decent to me is Donnie. He is the ONLY one who will say hi to me if he runs into me. What’s funny is, even though I was so young, I remember things. I remember going to the post office to see Don and him putting me on the counter to give me tootsie rolls. I also vividly remember Tana coming to Tyee Bowling Alley to visit me one time when I was there with Pam in the nursery while Grant and Jeanie bowled. Then all of a sudden it just stopped. I can’t be positive but I’m pretty sure that it had to do with the fact that my mom was pursuing child support, and you know, that’s fine with me. I look at it like it’s your family’s loss that a man needing to take care of his responsibilities but not wanting to, kept you from getting to know me. It’s pretty pathetic that the only thing that sticks in my mind when I think about you, is when I called you for medical history when I was 15 years old because I was having surgery and the first words out of your mouth, Jean, were “What do you want, Money?” That really hurt me. The fact that child support was owed was something that was between my mother and Michael, it shouldn’t have been taken out on me.

Since you missed out on everything in my life, and I don’t expect that you’ll be in my life in the future, let me tell you a little about me, your granddaughter. I’m 25 years old now and grew up into a pretty decent woman. I never got into drugs (which is more than I can say about Michael and he was the one who told me that the ONE time I met him when I was 15, so please don’t assume that my mom was putting things into my head because she didn’t) Actually, in spite of the way he and your family has denied me almost my whole life, she never said anything bad about him or you, other than never hiding it from me that Michael owed money for child support. I graduated high school and I even went to college. I have a good job, a wonderful man and now a beautiful baby boy.

I find it very sad, pathetic and pretty darn ridiculous that two grown people will do anything to make it a point to avoid me. For example, when I worked at Donna’s and was switched to the morning shift; Pam told me you guys were in there all the time. That all changed when you realized I worked there now didn’t it? Don came in for coffee about twice and then I never saw you guys there again. I’m thinking that wasn’t a coincidence.

For that reason, my son will most likely never know you existed, just as you have pretended that I don’t exist. He has plenty of family and doesn’t need to know about you and all the hurt your family has caused me all these years. I didn’t deserve it and he won’t know about it.

I don’t know if Michael has any other children, but, if he does, I pray that he and your family treat that child/children better than you treated me.